When I tell my married friends about being single, I often get similar responses. Some are sympathetic and some tell me they think I must be doing something wrong such as seeking out a "type" or using the wrong service. In the past that may have been true but with enough disappointments, a person has no choice but to change and keep an open mind. What I have found is that it doesn't matter what app you use or which type of man you converse with. Men in ties, men with hipster beards, sweet faced men, angry faced men, men with daughters, tall or short men, men with no shirts on, men with tats, musician men, fire or police men, working 18 hrs a day in a cubicle men, men who were raised by women, men who are stocky, muscular or thin, bro men, jock men, men doing cartwheels off giant cliffs, skiing in the alps men, entrepreneurial men....all of them are fucking crazy...or they just want to butter your biscuits.
At this point I assume 95% of them are just trying to hook up now. Which keeps me on my toes and keeps me from being too naive. There are patterns if you are willing to look for them. For example, I've noticed that most men now will bring up meeting within a couple of messages and a lot of times before even asking your name....true story! I have come across these guys a few times in the past couple of months. Men with suits, in their 40s, interested in getting that drink but not knowing a damn thing about you. I had to ask this guy his name because I didn't know his either :/
My spidey senses are tingling telling me that this guy could still be a potential problem and I'm praying that he will just find another girl and go away.
At this point I assume 95% of them are just trying to hook up now. Which keeps me on my toes and keeps me from being too naive. There are patterns if you are willing to look for them. For example, I've noticed that most men now will bring up meeting within a couple of messages and a lot of times before even asking your name....true story! I have come across these guys a few times in the past couple of months. Men with suits, in their 40s, interested in getting that drink but not knowing a damn thing about you. I had to ask this guy his name because I didn't know his either :/
Then I've had the guy who suggests we should get together to "play guitar" after a couple of exchanges. So cliche, anytime they see or hear about me playing guitar they offer to make music, teach me etc. And when I ignore this silly line... he goes and asks me 3 more times in other ways."we should get a drink!", "wanna hang?" After the 3rd time, I'm turned off.
This was last night's guy. Dying to meet after a couple of exchanges, but at least he asked my name and told me I was attractive. Which is a little more suave and a bit less sneaky. At least, he's being more direct.
Most of these guys are the same, they just want to hook up and when they meet you they are forcing that spark to happen by getting as close as they can to your mouth so that you can kiss passionately and be totally fine with your ass being grabbed.
I have to admit though lately, my spidey senses have been on high alert. About almost a year ago there was a really really handsome guy who texted me and I really liked his profile. He seemed like a guy who worked a lot on films, was very artistic and extremely handsome. He had a bit of a christian bale quality about him. We exchanged #s but we infrequently spoke over the past yr and I noticed, he wanted to learn a lot about me but when I asked him anything about him, he would go dead silent. We lost touch and then I reached out to him months later. Our conversation was very off and on and would be interrupted by travel or maybe seeing someone briefly etc.
One day when we were talking again I had asked for a more recent picture. The one he shared with me was just frightening. He was by a bathroom light in a worn white t-shirt with a William Dafoe smirk on his face. He looked worn and dead in the eyes and my skin felt uncomfortable all over. I could just imagine that by his feet, a girl laying on the floor with her throat sliced. And then he would do something to counter my instincts like send little virtual flowers and wishing my day went well. However, it gnawed on me. I suggested we video chat and it never happened because of his busy schedule. Now he was interested in meeting me and I was like maybe I am just being overly imaginative. So I decided to send my friends a couple of pics of him and let them know I was going to make plans in a very public place to see this guy. All of them, responding separately that they found this guy to be really scary. None of my friends actually knew each other but they all had a visceral reaction. One girl said "he makes me uncomfortable". I therefore, cancelled our date and he sent me a random pic a week later which looked like he was trying to be sexy but instead it came off as very intimidating. I blocked him in every way possible and suddenly he was trying to reach me on instagram and other outlets which he had ignored for months. He came up on my dating feed somehow this week and I had to triple check that he was blocked.
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Speaking of scary. The Inuit reached out again. At first with seemingly normal texts, realizing I was no longer speaking to him and feeling sad, which is understandable. However, he then follows it up with "I am smiling, thinking about you" and sending me a picture that was actually showing me that he was quite angry. I would show you but I decided when I created this blog that there had to be a few ground rules. I didn't want to reveal my identity or that of others. I showed it to 2 friends and they agreed his face was not a happy one. I took the liberty of drawing on top of it instead :)
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