No Dick Pic Please

My last post was a bit blue but it's how I felt in the moment. However, certain experiences in the past couple of weeks helped me move on and I haven't really even thought about that guy. Also,  this blog is the shit for helping me process feelings! Before I get into that I want to tell you about the last date I was on. This date was in August while the guy I was talking to was away on his trip to Miami. I told myself it would be good to keep putting myself out there and I would have been glad that I did if that date hadn't been so bad. First of all--this was a set up through one of my good friends. So automatically, I was a bit hopeful since it felt a bit more organic than online dating. She texted me with his picture and said "young and eager to please" to which I responded with "lol" not realizing she was really trying to set me up with this guy. When we texted things went OK but I did realize pretty soon that he was a man of few words and so I ...

So I know its been a long ass time since I posted a darn thing but I had a lot going on... I visited a few places since July---including Curacao (where I picked up a flight attended and had a little smooching action), North Carolina and then Miami Florida. In late July I spoke to a boy on match. He started out talking about serial killers and I melted his heart with my analysis of Jeffrey Dahmer. We enjoyed some more of this talk and then I took off to NC. When i got back we agreed to meet. The night we were set to meet I felt this crazy charge in the air. It felt like it was a night of possibilities and almost danger. We were scheduled to meet around 9 and I semi-ran from my mother's house to the bar near my house, as he lives 5 minutes away. I didn't know what was going to happen to me but it really felt like it was either going to be really good or really bad. When I got there, he gave me a big enveloping hug and a smile that confirmed that he liked what he saw. I als...

So lately, I have been getting odd messages from random guys on facebook. They wont be on my friends list and I will have to accept their message to read it. When I do I see the message, I notice they are friends with my other people on my friends list. So for a moment, I drop my guard down and then ask them if they know the friend we have in common. Then it usually turns out that they really don't. They add people on facebook it seems to get access to their friends so that they can send them flirty messages. This is turning into a growing peeve of mine. So the last list creeper happened this weekend. Dude messaged me and I look at his profile and I can tell right away he's an oddball and I am not really attracted to him. He has these random videos talking about he has a sick sense of style and I wasn't really feeling anything about him. So quickly I am trying to establish why he is messaging (which I admit, should seem obvious) and how he knows my friend. So he fesses up...

When I tell my married friends about being single, I often get similar responses. Some are sympathetic and some tell me they think I must be doing something wrong such as seeking out a "type" or using the wrong service. In the past that may have been true but with enough disappointments, a person has no choice but to change and keep an open mind. What I have found is that it doesn't matter what app you use or which type of man you converse with. Men in ties, men with hipster beards, sweet faced men, angry faced men, men with daughters, tall or short men, men with no shirts on, men with tats, musician men, fire or police men, working 18 hrs a day in a cubicle men, men who were raised by women, men who are stocky, muscular or thin, bro men, jock men, men doing cartwheels off giant cliffs, skiing in the alps men, entrepreneurial men....all of them are fucking crazy...or they just want to butter your biscuits. At this point I assume 95% of them are just trying to hook up no...

The Inuit continues to send me messages and it's creepy. It almost feels like he just realized I am not responding. So some things that are disturbing about this...When he mentions Eskimo--all I remember was how much he said he was not eskimo, but now he is identifying? The second thing is he mentions his trip to brazil being cancelled...but I have no idea why he is mentioning this. His trip is not till winter and we never really had a conversation about it. So his thinking I'm upset about this trip is strange. The funny thing is, he's racking brains trying to think about why I won't talk to him. He won't mention the stuff that actually upset me, such as his insults, judgements and assumptions. I feel kinda bad for this person, clearly they have a hard time communicating and have mental issues. However, I'm saying prayers to baby jeezus that this boy wont turn up on my door step. Anyway, here is another charmer: This was in my inbox this week. At n...

So I've made a choice recently to pause on online dating apps and meet people more organically. Although, I can already tell you that is not going well. It was about 3 weeks ago and I went to a Zombie party. I wore killer makeup and danced with my girlies. When the music got repetitive we decided to hit up NYC and go to an 80s club. Having transplanted somewhere else I was suddenly forgetful that I looked like the undead. People were freaking out that an apocalypse had started. I had fake blood wounds and gaunt eyes as well as blood running down my mouth and chest. It was awesomely ghastly. I was dancing and getting into the 80s vibe when my girl calls me over. She's talking to a handsome tall exotic boy. She goes you "you guys need to talk" Apparently he was telling her, that he founds me and my curvy figure very attractive. He had a great smile and seemed a bit of an oddball but a harmless one. My friend kept saying "He's an eskimo" and it turns ou...

Why has the dick pic gained this much popularity in our time?  How did guys become comfortable sharing them with a total Stranger? This was one of those things that became norm with the intro of the smart phone. The smart phone changed dating as well as so many other things. This is not what people experienced even a decade ago. I get this sense when I speak to people about 10 years older than I am. The thought of getting a dick picture is completely revolting and astounding to them. For me though, although still revolting it has become norm and unsurprising. How many times have I begun a conversation on OKC, Tinder, Match, Bagel meets coffee etc and within a few exchanges I'm asked things like: What are you wearing? Do you like being naughty? Are you ok with something casual?  Can I show you something? (dick pic build up) My eyes are constantly performing eye roll exercises. The moment I'm complimented as being sexy--I have an idea what's coming. Rec...

In 2007, I was newly single and thought to myself,  wow... dating is kind of crazy and I really should write a blog about it.  However,  being the serial Monogamous that I was at the time, I then entered a relationship that lasted 3 years. So that was scratched for a while... Who knew that a decade later ...and 200,000 dick pics later that I'd be saying the same thing. I am a relatively cute,  awesome female on the market for most of 6 years with limited success. I have a brain,  a career,  a big ass, a welcoming smile and a ton of guy friendly interests and yet Mr. Right has evaded my every turn.  These are my stories,  past and present... and I share them because some of the world just doesn't believe me.  A lot of happily married women cannot wrap their brain around dating in these modern times.. where the dick Pic is the standard.. where after a few friendly messages guys ask you what you're wearing and if you mind calling them daddy. F...