So I've made a choice recently to pause on online dating apps and meet people more organically. Although, I can already tell you that is not going well.
It was about 3 weeks ago and I went to a Zombie party. I wore killer makeup and danced with my girlies. When the music got repetitive we decided to hit up NYC and go to an 80s club. Having transplanted somewhere else I was suddenly forgetful that I looked like the undead. People were freaking out that an apocalypse had started. I had fake blood wounds and gaunt eyes as well as blood running down my mouth and chest. It was awesomely ghastly. I was dancing and getting into the 80s vibe when my girl calls me over. She's talking to a handsome tall exotic boy. She goes you "you guys need to talk"
Apparently he was telling her, that he founds me and my curvy figure very attractive. He had a great smile and seemed a bit of an oddball but a harmless one. My friend kept saying "He's an eskimo" and it turns out he was actually Inuit--native american from Canada. He was the artsy type and he decided he liked me. Being used to kissing strangers, I just went for it after a while. He seemed a little guarded which isn't what I normally get back. He kept his distance but smiled. He told me he liked me and said he wanted to hang out with me again. I said sure....he said well no cause girls say that but then they disappear. Red Flag #1. We actually all went out to eat breakfast together and had a nice time.
A few days later he asked me to a movie but I was at a movie already--so I said he could come over and watch a movie but not to expect anything. We watched the movie and we began kissing and then he said in the middle of it that he was "relieved". Not the kinda thing a girl usually hears. He then says he hasn't kissed anyone in 2 years and that it was nice. Then he proposes to stay over to cuddle and having really no idea who he is I said no and sent him packing. He leaves and texts me later that night telling me that he feels horrible for reasons he has to tell me about and wants to see me before he "leaves". It turns out that he was heading out of town and so he did before we could connect. I had no idea when I would see this guy again.
In the meantime there crazy blond boy #2. I was talking to this one via text who I had not met. He would call me and though he was cute in his photos I was slowly feeling him a lot less on the phone. He had a snivel like tone and sounded like he had wet nasal passages. He always seemed to be sniffing and sounding like a cartoon villain. I was out at karaoke with friends and I invited him knowing he was new in town and had no friends and i was close to his job where he was spending 18 hr days. He went the opposite direction and tried to convince me to meet him in midtown at 11pm just as I was heading home. Each day that week he'd joke that I should go visit him in Jersey. We made arrangements to meet instead on Friday and said he agreed to get out of work early "just for me". We had spoken for 5 days via text, mostly in the evenings. When Friday came he said he'd leave at 2:30pm and i'd be out a couple of hours later to meet him. Then 430 came around and he was saying he would not leave till 7. Then I realized this guy could potentially make me wait for him for hours and I would have no idea what to do with myself. I just wasn't ok with this. All these years of dating have left me feeling so impatient, especially since most dates are mostly meh. I set out to go to my hometown in Queens to my local watering hole which does karaoke on Fridays...but since its early I'm strolling around and crazy blonde begins to text me.
He suggests he can come out to queens...I told him theres an event but much later at 10pm and in the meantime I was gonna go to karaoke to kill time and he was welcome to come. He said "You know I just want to be with someone who is excited about doing things together. I feel like I'm always trying to make you do things. You are always in Karaoke since I met you and I hate karaoke."
So i respond that I've been at karaoke twice and that I understood and I wished him luck. He says "You are giving up on me already?!" I respond "You have already made up your mind about me..."
I go to my bar and hug the hottie bartender who has been hitting on me for a year. I'm irritable and trying to smile. I'm trying to sing like its making me feel better but its not. What i want to do is really be with someone on this night who knows me. As I drink the bartender looks like a good option when I know perfectly well he's married. That not my thing so I've never really given him the time of day. He's been begging me for a year to please let him in. He says he loves my body and thinks I'm so pretty and such a cool girl. No amount of singing is helping. No friends are around, I just feel kinda shitty and unusually needy. So I told him "Hey, my neck hurts how about that massage you're always talking about." He says yeah with a smirk ...and i ask him when he's leaving and its not for hours. He said he would walk me home and give me a nice massage for free. Right. Sure. Sounds good.
So I wait, I have several more whisky's because thats what I drink and then enters a lovely brunette who is dressed like an escort. This is a gay bar so there are not a lot of girls in the first place. He clearly recognizes her and pours her a martini and starts to spend time with her. I go up to sing and he is engaged in talking with her. They are clearly flirting, and I am clearly waiting for a guy who is not paying attention to his tangible options on this night. I could not believe it. A year of persistent begging and finally when it looks like he might get what he wants, I don't exist. So I ask to close out and he wants to hold my hand to say goodbye and I shake it rudely instead, grab my jacket and leave. I pigged out on food cause I had nothing else and said outloud in my living room that night. "I AM DONE!"
Next morning crazy blond boy says hi...like the whole thing never happened and followed it with "Are you high maintenance?" so I blocked him off. The bartender then texts me "are you mad at me?" and I answer "No we are fine, needed to go is all" and have avoided the bar since. I kept chanting my mantra..iamdoneiamdoneiamdone....and I said maybe the only guy I will answer going forward is the Inuit because he seemed sweet although kind of an odd one.
While he was away he sent me random pictures of strange things. A yoga sign, a desk, a few bushes and a bridge. I asked him if he meant to text me these and he then told me his fiance died 2 years ago and he still has feelings for her therefore he felt guilty kissing me but also felt connected to me and to please not to treat him like a player because the pics were in fact, meant for me. I felt a bit like a prick although I hadn't intended on making him feel like a player, and wasn't sure what to think but decided time would tell. I noticed though that as we texted he seemed to have a problem with almost everything I said. Every moment it was.....can you not say this, can you not say that...why did you have to go and say that??? I started to feel very judged and like I was walking on eggshells...I said maybe we should just forget this and be friends.
The next day he decides to text me his conversations on tinder. I was really confused. Had he gotten my text? Is this him sharing this with me as just friends or to make me jealous? So I asked him what he intended with sharing this. He then was like I'm just trying to be open, Tinder is not about hooking up--its just a form of window shopping and for flirting....then he was like "I am mad at you, you are calling me a player, why would I try to get to know you...why would i chant (he's a buddhist) if I was that way". I tried over the course of hours to say I didn't see him as a player, I merely asked what was the purpose of him showing me a picture of him flirting with women. I am not possessive and I am not gonna feel jealous when I do not know this person. He then is sending me links to youtube videos to persuade me that tinder is not about hookups anymore. Then he tried to turn the tables and say the only reason I was getting disgusting texts and pictures was because I was asking for it. I was at fault for sharing my phone number or there was something I was doing. I told him he could not fathom what it was like to be a single woman in NY but he wasn't hearing it. I tell him over hours of arguing with him this is not gonna work. He ignored my text and asks me if I know the definition of goth...which seemed weird. When I didn't know what a true goth was he said that if we dated, it would not work because of me...because I would not understand him and goths. I agreed. I was done and couldn't even see us being friends. He kept going on and on and when I said I didn't want to hang out, he got upset and said "why do modern women do that??? why do they just bail on their marriage, their relationships and their friendships just like that?" Oy...this was a level of crazy I wasn't ready for. Then he said fine but maybe we can just hang out to make out. I got super upset now. I told him that was not on the table, that I wasn't a toy. He was like but "there is so much for us to learn from each other!" I was not in the mood for learning and was bored with this nonsensical thread so.. I stopped responding.
It was cold turkey text time. However, ever since....he is sending me messages as if though our conversation never happened. They don't make much sense but here you go.
Still sending tinder pics and outraged that I am not answering. Why am I not blocking his crazy ass? Cause he knows where I live, and I'd like a heads up if he starts acting agitated via text. Have I learned my lesson!
Til' next time folks everyone.
-Rainy Day
It was about 3 weeks ago and I went to a Zombie party. I wore killer makeup and danced with my girlies. When the music got repetitive we decided to hit up NYC and go to an 80s club. Having transplanted somewhere else I was suddenly forgetful that I looked like the undead. People were freaking out that an apocalypse had started. I had fake blood wounds and gaunt eyes as well as blood running down my mouth and chest. It was awesomely ghastly. I was dancing and getting into the 80s vibe when my girl calls me over. She's talking to a handsome tall exotic boy. She goes you "you guys need to talk"
Apparently he was telling her, that he founds me and my curvy figure very attractive. He had a great smile and seemed a bit of an oddball but a harmless one. My friend kept saying "He's an eskimo" and it turns out he was actually Inuit--native american from Canada. He was the artsy type and he decided he liked me. Being used to kissing strangers, I just went for it after a while. He seemed a little guarded which isn't what I normally get back. He kept his distance but smiled. He told me he liked me and said he wanted to hang out with me again. I said sure....he said well no cause girls say that but then they disappear. Red Flag #1. We actually all went out to eat breakfast together and had a nice time.
A few days later he asked me to a movie but I was at a movie already--so I said he could come over and watch a movie but not to expect anything. We watched the movie and we began kissing and then he said in the middle of it that he was "relieved". Not the kinda thing a girl usually hears. He then says he hasn't kissed anyone in 2 years and that it was nice. Then he proposes to stay over to cuddle and having really no idea who he is I said no and sent him packing. He leaves and texts me later that night telling me that he feels horrible for reasons he has to tell me about and wants to see me before he "leaves". It turns out that he was heading out of town and so he did before we could connect. I had no idea when I would see this guy again.
In the meantime there crazy blond boy #2. I was talking to this one via text who I had not met. He would call me and though he was cute in his photos I was slowly feeling him a lot less on the phone. He had a snivel like tone and sounded like he had wet nasal passages. He always seemed to be sniffing and sounding like a cartoon villain. I was out at karaoke with friends and I invited him knowing he was new in town and had no friends and i was close to his job where he was spending 18 hr days. He went the opposite direction and tried to convince me to meet him in midtown at 11pm just as I was heading home. Each day that week he'd joke that I should go visit him in Jersey. We made arrangements to meet instead on Friday and said he agreed to get out of work early "just for me". We had spoken for 5 days via text, mostly in the evenings. When Friday came he said he'd leave at 2:30pm and i'd be out a couple of hours later to meet him. Then 430 came around and he was saying he would not leave till 7. Then I realized this guy could potentially make me wait for him for hours and I would have no idea what to do with myself. I just wasn't ok with this. All these years of dating have left me feeling so impatient, especially since most dates are mostly meh. I set out to go to my hometown in Queens to my local watering hole which does karaoke on Fridays...but since its early I'm strolling around and crazy blonde begins to text me.
He suggests he can come out to queens...I told him theres an event but much later at 10pm and in the meantime I was gonna go to karaoke to kill time and he was welcome to come. He said "You know I just want to be with someone who is excited about doing things together. I feel like I'm always trying to make you do things. You are always in Karaoke since I met you and I hate karaoke."
So i respond that I've been at karaoke twice and that I understood and I wished him luck. He says "You are giving up on me already?!" I respond "You have already made up your mind about me..."
I go to my bar and hug the hottie bartender who has been hitting on me for a year. I'm irritable and trying to smile. I'm trying to sing like its making me feel better but its not. What i want to do is really be with someone on this night who knows me. As I drink the bartender looks like a good option when I know perfectly well he's married. That not my thing so I've never really given him the time of day. He's been begging me for a year to please let him in. He says he loves my body and thinks I'm so pretty and such a cool girl. No amount of singing is helping. No friends are around, I just feel kinda shitty and unusually needy. So I told him "Hey, my neck hurts how about that massage you're always talking about." He says yeah with a smirk ...and i ask him when he's leaving and its not for hours. He said he would walk me home and give me a nice massage for free. Right. Sure. Sounds good.
So I wait, I have several more whisky's because thats what I drink and then enters a lovely brunette who is dressed like an escort. This is a gay bar so there are not a lot of girls in the first place. He clearly recognizes her and pours her a martini and starts to spend time with her. I go up to sing and he is engaged in talking with her. They are clearly flirting, and I am clearly waiting for a guy who is not paying attention to his tangible options on this night. I could not believe it. A year of persistent begging and finally when it looks like he might get what he wants, I don't exist. So I ask to close out and he wants to hold my hand to say goodbye and I shake it rudely instead, grab my jacket and leave. I pigged out on food cause I had nothing else and said outloud in my living room that night. "I AM DONE!"
Next morning crazy blond boy says hi...like the whole thing never happened and followed it with "Are you high maintenance?" so I blocked him off. The bartender then texts me "are you mad at me?" and I answer "No we are fine, needed to go is all" and have avoided the bar since. I kept chanting my mantra..iamdoneiamdoneiamdone....and I said maybe the only guy I will answer going forward is the Inuit because he seemed sweet although kind of an odd one.
While he was away he sent me random pictures of strange things. A yoga sign, a desk, a few bushes and a bridge. I asked him if he meant to text me these and he then told me his fiance died 2 years ago and he still has feelings for her therefore he felt guilty kissing me but also felt connected to me and to please not to treat him like a player because the pics were in fact, meant for me. I felt a bit like a prick although I hadn't intended on making him feel like a player, and wasn't sure what to think but decided time would tell. I noticed though that as we texted he seemed to have a problem with almost everything I said. Every moment it was.....can you not say this, can you not say that...why did you have to go and say that??? I started to feel very judged and like I was walking on eggshells...I said maybe we should just forget this and be friends.
The next day he decides to text me his conversations on tinder. I was really confused. Had he gotten my text? Is this him sharing this with me as just friends or to make me jealous? So I asked him what he intended with sharing this. He then was like I'm just trying to be open, Tinder is not about hooking up--its just a form of window shopping and for flirting....then he was like "I am mad at you, you are calling me a player, why would I try to get to know you...why would i chant (he's a buddhist) if I was that way". I tried over the course of hours to say I didn't see him as a player, I merely asked what was the purpose of him showing me a picture of him flirting with women. I am not possessive and I am not gonna feel jealous when I do not know this person. He then is sending me links to youtube videos to persuade me that tinder is not about hookups anymore. Then he tried to turn the tables and say the only reason I was getting disgusting texts and pictures was because I was asking for it. I was at fault for sharing my phone number or there was something I was doing. I told him he could not fathom what it was like to be a single woman in NY but he wasn't hearing it. I tell him over hours of arguing with him this is not gonna work. He ignored my text and asks me if I know the definition of goth...which seemed weird. When I didn't know what a true goth was he said that if we dated, it would not work because of me...because I would not understand him and goths. I agreed. I was done and couldn't even see us being friends. He kept going on and on and when I said I didn't want to hang out, he got upset and said "why do modern women do that??? why do they just bail on their marriage, their relationships and their friendships just like that?" Oy...this was a level of crazy I wasn't ready for. Then he said fine but maybe we can just hang out to make out. I got super upset now. I told him that was not on the table, that I wasn't a toy. He was like but "there is so much for us to learn from each other!" I was not in the mood for learning and was bored with this nonsensical thread so.. I stopped responding.
It was cold turkey text time. However, ever since....he is sending me messages as if though our conversation never happened. They don't make much sense but here you go.
Still sending tinder pics and outraged that I am not answering. Why am I not blocking his crazy ass? Cause he knows where I live, and I'd like a heads up if he starts acting agitated via text. Have I learned my lesson!
Til' next time folks everyone.
-Rainy Day
Comments
Post a Comment