So I know its been a long ass time since I posted a darn thing but I had a lot going on...
I visited a few places since July---including Curacao (where I picked up a flight attended and had a little smooching action), North Carolina and then Miami Florida.
In late July I spoke to a boy on match. He started out talking about serial killers and I melted his heart with my analysis of Jeffrey Dahmer. We enjoyed some more of this talk and then I took off to NC. When i got back we agreed to meet.
The night we were set to meet I felt this crazy charge in the air. It felt like it was a night of possibilities and almost danger. We were scheduled to meet around 9 and I semi-ran from my mother's house to the bar near my house, as he lives 5 minutes away. I didn't know what was going to happen to me but it really felt like it was either going to be really good or really bad. When I got there, he gave me a big enveloping hug and a smile that confirmed that he liked what he saw. I also really really liked what I saw.
He was tall, bald, long curly lashes, amazing figure, nice smile (and teeth of course)-- I knew I liked him before we had met but now I was caught in a web. He had a drink ready for me and it turned out he didn't drink at all. I took it easy on the liquor but there we sat, talking effortlessly for 4 hours, about so many things. We were both virgos, both impressive, both full of ideas and accomplishments, both full of ambition and hunger for learning, both good listeners and good speakers. We were on a high and at the end of the night he hugged me and said I exceeded all expectations. He gave me a polite peck on the mouth when I walked him home and afterwards he texted me that he couldn't wait to take me to all sorts of places.
(experiencing full enchantment)
And then I never saw him again....
He had his dad coming to town and so I pulled back a bit as they were vacationing together. We had a 2nd date set up a couple of weeks after our first and the day of, he cancelled. I was disappointed but told him hopefully we could reschedule. He said yeah definitely and his messages sounded like he was still interested. I went away for a weekend and when I was back he was barely communicative, so I reached out and asked if he was interested in seeing me when he got back from his Miami trip the next weekend. He said definitely and even accused me of "ditching" him. I told him I did not do any such thing...I gave him a bit of space to accommodate his family. We talked the next day like normal but he kinda made me feel like I was disrupting him. Then I wished him a safe flight and got no response. I wished him a happy birthday and he said thank you and that was the last I heard from him.
(checking my phone at all hours to see if the damn thing works but getting no text messages)
Since then I have been mourning the possibility of dating someone so much like myself in all the right ways. I cannot shake how much I liked this particular person and what sucks is they live right up the street and I'm constantly reminded of this let down. It isn't like I thought there was going to be a relationship but just like that night, I felt all the possibility in the air, there for me to grab and to take hold. I feel like even now, if I saw this person, it would be electric. There are so few people who you feel attracted to and whose energy and chemistry is magical with yours. I don't want to wait another 6 years to feel that but sadly I have no choice in the matter. For months I will have to ask myself---did he lose interest? did he get too busy? did he get scared? And there will be no answers. So I have to tell myself, that it will be fine, that he simply didn't deserve me and keep chugging along.
In the meantime: here are some great messages on the dating apps.
This was the first message a guy sent me
Having exchanged phone numbers--within an hour this guy was revealing a foot fetish
About 7 messages in....
About 10 messages in....
This world is full of creeps--watching the show catfish though makes me feel a bit better about my life. Also, it could be worse, I met a girl who told me that on her date with a guy, he bought along his mother.
I have more stories from this summer to tell--Stay tuned.
Next Post I will give you an update on Eskimo.
-Rainy






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