My last post was a bit blue but it's how I felt in the moment. However, certain experiences in the past couple of weeks helped me move on and I haven't really even thought about that guy. Also, this blog is the shit for helping me process feelings!
Before I get into that I want to tell you about the last date I was on. This date was in August while the guy I was talking to was away on his trip to Miami. I told myself it would be good to keep putting myself out there and I would have been glad that I did if that date hadn't been so bad.
First of all--this was a set up through one of my good friends. So automatically, I was a bit hopeful since it felt a bit more organic than online dating. She texted me with his picture and said "young and eager to please" to which I responded with "lol" not realizing she was really trying to set me up with this guy.
When we texted things went OK but I did realize pretty soon that he was a man of few words and so I already kinda thought to myself, it probably won't work out but I will give it a shot.
The texting began in July and I traveled to Curacao. We texted a bit but I was losing interest. Then in August I traveled to North Carolina. Life was busy this summer and he definitely noted it. To be honest, I wasn't excited to connect with him and kept forgetting he existed. When I got back from Miami though we decided to meet on a Friday after work.
He is a banker and I was somewhat familiar with his schedule. I knew I'd wait a little bit after work and I asked him where we would meet...and his response was to arrange for us to meet close to his home and REALLY far away from mine. Already, I was in a bad mood because of this. Rule #1 you should propose to meet somewhere half way. Then I arrive at the proposed location, which is a pool hall and I proceed to sit there for about an hour and half because my date fails to tell me that he is actually working much later than usual. So I am pretty upset at this point and I should have left. I sip a glass of wine and unfortunately, this wine starts to set off my skin allergies, so when my date finally arrives my skin is bumpy and on fire. He is what I kind of expected, nobody who was wowing me.
BUT FINE..
We start to play pool and I am incredibly rusty from not having played in years. I become competitive quickly and am trying to make the most out of it. At some point when something funny happens he suddenly comes at me quickly with a big hug--it was a bit obvious he was trying to kill the awkwardness and establish touch between us. He proposed we go to another place in the neighborhood of Washington Heights. I am very unfamiliar with this area and I had no idea how big it was. I was a bit disoriented to be honest. We went to a place where there was a lot of loud latin music and bright lights. We got a drink and hookah and I tried REALLY HARD to make the conversation flow between us.
He then surprised the crap out of me and asked what I thought when our mutual friend had referred to him as "young and eager to please." For a moment I sat there stunned. I had no idea he was there when she was texting me. He said I had laughed and wanted to know what I meant by it. I told him, "to be honest, i didn't realize she was sending me that message with the purpose of getting us together." He goes, "so what do you think that means now". I said--"I think it means that you are young and vibrant". He then gets up and stands right over me, and I am really not feeling how close he is. I comment on the hookah being better and he goes--"well the only way to prove that is by doing a shotty" Usually shotties are done with hands cupped in between but he skipped that and hovered over my mouth and then just went for a kiss. I was grossed out honestly. It was so forward and not suave at all. I told him I couldn't stay out too long because I had a doctors appointment. He responded, "me too! I'm volunteering tomorrow, hey do you want to get out here"
I jumped at the chance because that meant I could leeeeave! We get outside and he goes "Hey, if you come with me to the car I can just take you home." I look around and have no idea where the hell I am so I say sure. We walk for about 5 minutes and I ask, "so where is your car?" expecting it to be around the corner but he responds, "It's about 20 blocks away" and in my head I yelled FUUUUUUCK!!!
Now remember I didn't know where I was, it was late, and he was my really good friend's friend. So my patience had to be a bit stretched because I wanted this experience to end on a respectable note. So I walked, and as I did, he would pull me into a kiss suddenly while I was in the middle of a sentence....we walked through shady dark areas where he was hoping to get more intimate with each kiss, I kissed back feeling dead inside and all mechanical like.
After about an hour we get to his damn car, which turns out, was parked by his dad who he lives with. He in fact lives with his whole family even though he's in his 30s. Finally, the drive home begins and it is pretty quiet cause we have nothing in common. As he gets close to my house he preemptively strikes and asks "When we get to your house can I pee upstairs." I know what he wants. He wants to fuck me after he supposedly pees. I say "I'm sorry no, I just cannot allow guests in my house if its not really clean." He desperately follows up with "But I don't mind" to which I respond, "well I do mind."
He then goes to give me the stupid good night kiss and I am just itching to get away. He is trying to make it all passionate and shit while we are in the car and I see him looking back several times at the back seat. He asks, "Well, could you at least spend a little time with me here." I told him, "I have an appointment tomorrow and don't you do too?" He said, "That is so far from my mind right now" and kept kissing. He asks again if he can go upstairs just to pee and I apologize and firmly say no. I finally manage to get out of the car and he flanks me from the left side and shoves me onto the car where he is just kissing me hard and pinning my hands down. I know I'm right in front of my home so I just say to myself, nothing is going to happen if I don't want it to and I definitely do not want it to. He then starts to rub his groin hard on me and keeping my hands pinned and then moves off of me and heads to the back seat and goes, "would I be so forward if I....." I told him yes and I wished him a good night. I went to to my apartment and didn't turn on the lights because I didn't want him to know what floor I was on.
He texted me when he got home about what a great night he had and then texted me the following day repeatedly. I did not answer him or much of anyone. I really needed to clear my head. The next day I responded and told him that right now I am looking for something more long term and with someone I have more in common with.
His response "I am glad you picked up on the fact that I am not looking for anything serious right now, I think being friends is just what the doctor ordered."
Yeah well with his dick hanging out of his a pants I kinda guessed that. I got him off my back and put him on all sorts of restricted things on social media. I have not told my friend yet about how it went. I think as a friend she must know him know him one way but she has no idea what he is like on a date with someone he wants to just get some ass from. If it hadn't been for the simple fact that we had a mutual friend, I would have left the pool place after 30 minutes of waiting.
Anyway, I traveled to Barcelona and had a really wonderful time on my own exploring a beautiful city. When I came back I continued with dance classes and just loved working on this goal, I also attended 2 concerts and felt like for the first time, it was possible to be happy with my life without wanting for a romance. I will continue to see if I feel that way in the next few weeks.
Till then...
Before I get into that I want to tell you about the last date I was on. This date was in August while the guy I was talking to was away on his trip to Miami. I told myself it would be good to keep putting myself out there and I would have been glad that I did if that date hadn't been so bad.
First of all--this was a set up through one of my good friends. So automatically, I was a bit hopeful since it felt a bit more organic than online dating. She texted me with his picture and said "young and eager to please" to which I responded with "lol" not realizing she was really trying to set me up with this guy.
When we texted things went OK but I did realize pretty soon that he was a man of few words and so I already kinda thought to myself, it probably won't work out but I will give it a shot.
The texting began in July and I traveled to Curacao. We texted a bit but I was losing interest. Then in August I traveled to North Carolina. Life was busy this summer and he definitely noted it. To be honest, I wasn't excited to connect with him and kept forgetting he existed. When I got back from Miami though we decided to meet on a Friday after work.
He is a banker and I was somewhat familiar with his schedule. I knew I'd wait a little bit after work and I asked him where we would meet...and his response was to arrange for us to meet close to his home and REALLY far away from mine. Already, I was in a bad mood because of this. Rule #1 you should propose to meet somewhere half way. Then I arrive at the proposed location, which is a pool hall and I proceed to sit there for about an hour and half because my date fails to tell me that he is actually working much later than usual. So I am pretty upset at this point and I should have left. I sip a glass of wine and unfortunately, this wine starts to set off my skin allergies, so when my date finally arrives my skin is bumpy and on fire. He is what I kind of expected, nobody who was wowing me.
BUT FINE..
We start to play pool and I am incredibly rusty from not having played in years. I become competitive quickly and am trying to make the most out of it. At some point when something funny happens he suddenly comes at me quickly with a big hug--it was a bit obvious he was trying to kill the awkwardness and establish touch between us. He proposed we go to another place in the neighborhood of Washington Heights. I am very unfamiliar with this area and I had no idea how big it was. I was a bit disoriented to be honest. We went to a place where there was a lot of loud latin music and bright lights. We got a drink and hookah and I tried REALLY HARD to make the conversation flow between us.
He then surprised the crap out of me and asked what I thought when our mutual friend had referred to him as "young and eager to please." For a moment I sat there stunned. I had no idea he was there when she was texting me. He said I had laughed and wanted to know what I meant by it. I told him, "to be honest, i didn't realize she was sending me that message with the purpose of getting us together." He goes, "so what do you think that means now". I said--"I think it means that you are young and vibrant". He then gets up and stands right over me, and I am really not feeling how close he is. I comment on the hookah being better and he goes--"well the only way to prove that is by doing a shotty" Usually shotties are done with hands cupped in between but he skipped that and hovered over my mouth and then just went for a kiss. I was grossed out honestly. It was so forward and not suave at all. I told him I couldn't stay out too long because I had a doctors appointment. He responded, "me too! I'm volunteering tomorrow, hey do you want to get out here"
I jumped at the chance because that meant I could leeeeave! We get outside and he goes "Hey, if you come with me to the car I can just take you home." I look around and have no idea where the hell I am so I say sure. We walk for about 5 minutes and I ask, "so where is your car?" expecting it to be around the corner but he responds, "It's about 20 blocks away" and in my head I yelled FUUUUUUCK!!!
Now remember I didn't know where I was, it was late, and he was my really good friend's friend. So my patience had to be a bit stretched because I wanted this experience to end on a respectable note. So I walked, and as I did, he would pull me into a kiss suddenly while I was in the middle of a sentence....we walked through shady dark areas where he was hoping to get more intimate with each kiss, I kissed back feeling dead inside and all mechanical like.
After about an hour we get to his damn car, which turns out, was parked by his dad who he lives with. He in fact lives with his whole family even though he's in his 30s. Finally, the drive home begins and it is pretty quiet cause we have nothing in common. As he gets close to my house he preemptively strikes and asks "When we get to your house can I pee upstairs." I know what he wants. He wants to fuck me after he supposedly pees. I say "I'm sorry no, I just cannot allow guests in my house if its not really clean." He desperately follows up with "But I don't mind" to which I respond, "well I do mind."
He then goes to give me the stupid good night kiss and I am just itching to get away. He is trying to make it all passionate and shit while we are in the car and I see him looking back several times at the back seat. He asks, "Well, could you at least spend a little time with me here." I told him, "I have an appointment tomorrow and don't you do too?" He said, "That is so far from my mind right now" and kept kissing. He asks again if he can go upstairs just to pee and I apologize and firmly say no. I finally manage to get out of the car and he flanks me from the left side and shoves me onto the car where he is just kissing me hard and pinning my hands down. I know I'm right in front of my home so I just say to myself, nothing is going to happen if I don't want it to and I definitely do not want it to. He then starts to rub his groin hard on me and keeping my hands pinned and then moves off of me and heads to the back seat and goes, "would I be so forward if I....." I told him yes and I wished him a good night. I went to to my apartment and didn't turn on the lights because I didn't want him to know what floor I was on.
He texted me when he got home about what a great night he had and then texted me the following day repeatedly. I did not answer him or much of anyone. I really needed to clear my head. The next day I responded and told him that right now I am looking for something more long term and with someone I have more in common with.
His response "I am glad you picked up on the fact that I am not looking for anything serious right now, I think being friends is just what the doctor ordered."
Yeah well with his dick hanging out of his a pants I kinda guessed that. I got him off my back and put him on all sorts of restricted things on social media. I have not told my friend yet about how it went. I think as a friend she must know him know him one way but she has no idea what he is like on a date with someone he wants to just get some ass from. If it hadn't been for the simple fact that we had a mutual friend, I would have left the pool place after 30 minutes of waiting.
Anyway, I traveled to Barcelona and had a really wonderful time on my own exploring a beautiful city. When I came back I continued with dance classes and just loved working on this goal, I also attended 2 concerts and felt like for the first time, it was possible to be happy with my life without wanting for a romance. I will continue to see if I feel that way in the next few weeks.
Till then...
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